Since I arrived in Paris my ultimate quest has been to find French friends. For me, the idea of spending time with real, live Parisians seems like the most authentic thing that I could possibly do during my study abroad experience. I have this idea that if I hang out with young Parisians, this will be my key to all the other “back regions” of Paris, as MacCannell would put it.
It is also a very qualifying feeling to hang out with Parisians; a way to feel that you are assimilating into the culture rather than simply being a tourist, an outsider.
Being new to any city is always a hard feat to overcome. You never know right away where all the best things are: where to eat, where to party, where to shop? As a newcomer, especially in a foreign country, we are limited to travel guides and the recommendations our friends and family that have traveled to the same place before us. However, none of these recommendations ever seem good enough. We want to find the places where the locals go so that we can better disguise ourselves within the culture. I find myself constantly judging places by what the ratio of tourists to Parisians is inside. If there are a lot of tourists I don’t want to be associated with it and the more Parisians, the cooler I feel.
I feel that if I am able to find French friends, I will no longer have to rely on this ratio. They will take me out and show me all the things that I need to know, the secrets of their city. Those “back regions” which are only accessible to people in the know (or those who lack the dead give away: an American accent.) Perhaps an unassuming brasserie that just so happens to be better than all the rest, a bar that makes the most delicious mojitos you have ever tasted, or an unmarked restaurant tucked away behind closed doors? At least this is what I envision…
So far my quest for French friends has been somewhat of a success. I have managed to meet people through my classes and my nights out, who are usually enthralled with the fact that I come from NYC/ that I am American (so much for the French hating Americans… well at least the younger generation) and who are always happy to lend a reccomendation or two. Parfait!! However, I am still lacking the integration into an actual group and I am starting to think that this is possibly setting my sights a bit too high. Maybe I will settle for one French friend who I can crab a café with because no matter what I still feel that seeing the city from an insider’s perspective is what gives your experience the ultimate stamp of authenticity.
Have you read _Entre Nous_, by Debra Ollivier? An American who married a Frenchman and lived in France for 10 years, she has a unique perspective on French culture as it differs from ours. Her take on "French girls" is that they don't "travel in packs" as American girls tend to do. Also, it can take YEARS to know a French girl quite well. It's their innate discretion. However, Ollivier could be speaking about French women more my age than yours.
ReplyDeleteI have not read that one but it sounds really interesting I am currently reading A year in the Merde by Steven Clarke but it is more of a man's perspective on Paris. I also read C'est La Vie by Suzy Gershman (the Born to shop lady) which I liked.
ReplyDeleteMost of the girls I have met who are my age are very friendly and open, but it seems to me that the women in there late 20s and early 30s are much like she describes, a little bit cold, to be honest.
I will continue my research and get back to you on that one! :)